Julius Caesar DKC Style Act I
by Alex Sambora
Summary: Act one of DKC Julius Caesar. The characters re-enact Shakespeare's play with DK as the title role and Diddy as Brutus.
1. Act I, Scene I

Disclaimer: I only own Pat and Agrippa.

NOTES: One act is one story, one scene is one chapter. When an act is done there will be another chapter showing outtakes. Also, this is in my human AU.

Cast for this act:

Caesar-DK

Calphurnia-Candy

Brutus-Diddy

Portia-Dixie

Antony-Funky

Cassius-Wrinkly

Casca-Lanky

Decius-Chunky

Flavius-Agrippa

Marellus-Pat

XxXxXxXxX

Act I, Scene I

XxXxXxXxX

_Enter Agrippa, Pat, a cobbler(random Kong 2), and a carpenter(random Kong 1)._

**Agrippa:** Hence! Home, you idle creatures get you home!

Is this a holiday? What, know you not,

Being mechanical, you ought not walk

Upon a laboring day without the sign

Of your profession?—Speak, what trade art thou?

**Random Kong 1(carpenter):** Why, sir, a carpenter.

**Pat:** Where is thy leather apron and thy rule?

What dost thou with thy best apparel on?

—You, sir, what trade are you?

**Random Kong 2(cobbler):** Truly, sir, in respect of a fine workman, I am but, as you would say, a cobbler.

**Pat:** But what trade art thou? Answer me directly.

**RK2:** A trade, sir, that I hope I may use with a safe conscience, which is, indeed, sir, a mender of bad soles.

**Pat:** What trade, thou knave? Thou naughty knave, what trade?

**RK2:** Nay, I beseech you, sir, be not out with me. Yet, if you be out, sir, I can mend you.

**Pat:** What mean'st thou by that? "Mend" me, thou saucy fellow?

**RK2:** Why, sir, cobble you.

**Agrippa:** Thou art a cobbler, art thou?

**RK2:** Truly, sir, all that I live by is with the awl. I meddle with no tradesman's matters nor women's matters, but withal I am indeed, sir, a surgeon to old shoes. When they are in great danger, I recover them. As proper men as ever trod upon neat's leather have gone upon my handiwork.

**Agrippa:** But wherefore art not in thy shop today?

Why dost thou lead these men about the streets?

**RK2:** Truly, sir, to wear out their shoes to get myself into more work. But indeed, sir, we make holiday to see DK and to rejoice in his triumph.

**Pat:** Wherefore rejoice? What conquest brings he home?

What tributaries follow him to Rome

To grace in captive bonds his chariot wheels?

You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things,

O you hard hearts, you cruèl men of Rome,

Knew you not Pompey? Many a time and oft

Have you climbed up to walls and battlements,

To towers and windows, yea, to chimney tops,

Your infants in your arms, and there have sat

The livelong day with patient expectation

To see great Pompey pass the streets of Rome.

And when you saw his chariot but appear,

Have you not made an universal shout

That Tiber trembled underneath her banks

To hear the replication of your sounds

Made in her concave shores?

And do you now put on your best attire?

And do you now cull out a holiday?

And do you now strew flowers in his way

That comes in triumph over Pompey's blood?

Be gone!

Run to your houses, fall upon your knees,

Pray to the gods to intermit the plague

That needs must light on this ingratitude.

**Agrippa:** Go, go, good countrymen, and for this fault,

Assemble all the poor men of your sort,

Draw them to Tiber banks, and weep your tears

Into the channel till the lowest stream

Do kiss the most exalted shores of all.

_Exit all but Agrippa and Pat_.

**Agrippa:** See whether their basest metal be not moved.

They vanish tongue-tied in their guiltiness.

Go you down that way towards the Capitol.

This way will I. Disrobe the images

If you do find them decked with ceremonies.

**Pat:** May we do so?

You know it is the feast of Lupercal.

**Agrippa:** It is no matter. Let no images

Be hung with DK's trophies. I'll about

And drive away the vulgar from the streets.

So do you too, where you perceive them thick.

These growing feathers plucked from DK's wing

Will make him fly an ordinary pitch,

Who else would soar above the view of men

And keep us all in servile fearfulness.

_The go seperate ways._


	2. Act I, Scene II

Disclaimer: I only wish I own the DKC characters and the hakespeare play.

Caesar-DK

Calphurnia-Candy

Brutus-Diddy

Portia-Dixie

Antony-Funky

Cassius-Wrinkly

Casca-Lanky

Decius-Chunky

Cicero-Gnaeus (ironically a JC character of mine)

Flavius-Agrippa

Marellus-Pat

XxXxXxXxX

Act I, Scene II

XxXxXxXxX

_Enter DK, Funky(dressed to race), Candy, Wrinkly, Diddy, Dixie, Chunky, Gnaeus, and Lanky. A large crowd is folowing them, among them Inka-Dinka-Doo, a soothsayer._

**DK:** Candy!

**Lanky:** Peace, ho! DK speaks.

**DK:** Candy!

**Candy:** Here, my lord.

**DK:** Stand you directly in Funky's way

When he doth run his course.—Funky!

**Funky:** DK, my lord.

**DK:** Forget not in your speed, Funky,

To touch Candy, for our elders say

The barren, touchèd in this holy chase,

Shake off their sterile curse.

**Funky:** I shall remember.

When DK says, "do this," it is performed.

**DK:** Set on, and leave no ceremony out.

_A trumpet._

**Voice:** DK!

**DK:** Ha! Who calls?

**Lanky:** Bid every noise be still. Peace yet again.

_Trumpets stop._

**DK:** Who is it in the press that calls on me?

I hear a tongue, shriller than all the music,

Cry "DK!"—Speak. DK is turned to hear.

**Voice:** Beware the Ides of March.

**DK:** What man is that?

**Diddy:** A soothsayer bids you beware the Ides of March.

**DK:** Set him before me. Let me see his face.

**Wrinkly:** Fellow, come from the throng. Look upon DK.

_Inka-Dinka-Doo approaches._

**DK:** What sayst thou to me now? Speak once again

**Inka-Dinka-Doo:** Beware the Ides of March.

**DK:** He is a dreamer. Let us leave him. Pass!

_Trumpets play. All but Wrinkly and Diddy leave._

**Wrinkly:** Will you go see the order of the course?

**Diddy:** Not I.

**Wrinkly:** I pray you, do.

**Diddy:** I am not gamesome. I do lack some part

Of that quick spirit that is in Funky.

Let me not hinder, Wrinkly, your desires.

I'll leave you.

**Wrinkly:** Diddy, I do observe you now of late

I have not from your eyes that gentleness

And show of love as I was wont to have.

You bear too stubborn and too strange a hand

Over your friend that loves you.

**Diddy:** Wrinkly,

Be not deceived. If I have veiled my look,

I turn the trouble of my countenance

Merely upon myself. Vexèd I am

Of late with passions of some difference,

Conceptions only proper to myself,

Which give some soil perhaps to my behaviors.

But let not therefore, my good friends, be grieved—

Among which number, Wrinkly, be you one—

Nor construe any further my neglect

Than that poor Diddy, with himself at war,

Forgets the shows of love to other men.

**Wrinkly:** Then, Diddy, I have much mistook your passion,

By means whereof this breast of mine hath buried

Thoughts of great value, worthy cogitations.

Tell me, good Diddy, can you see your face?

**Diddy:** No, Wrinkly, for the eye sees not itself

But by reflection, by some other things.

**Wrinkly:** 'Tis just.

And it is very much lamented, Diddy,

That you have no such mirrors as will turn

Your hidden worthiness into your eye

That you might see your shadow. I have heard

Where many of the best respect in Rome,

Except immortal DK, speaking of Diddy

And groaning underneath this age's yoke,

Have wished that noble Diddy had his eyes.

**Diddy:** Into what dangers would you lead me, Wrinkly,

That you would have me seek into myself

For that which is not in me?

**Wrinkly:** Therefore, good Diddy, be prepared to hear.

And since you know you cannot see yourself

So well as by reflection, I, your glass,

Will modestly discover to yourself

That of yourself which you yet know not of.

And be not jealous on me, gentle Diddy.

Were I a common laugher, or did use

To stale with ordinary oaths my love

To every new protester, if you know

That I do fawn on men and hug them hard

And, after, scandal them, or if you know

That I profess myself in banqueting

To all the rout, then hold me dangerous.

_A shout comes from offstage as trumpets play._

**Diddy:** What means this shouting? I do fear, the people

Choose DK for their king.

**Wrinkly:** Ay, do you fear it?

Then must I think you would not have it so.

**Diddy:** I would not, Wrinkly. Yet I love him well.

But wherefore do you hold me here so long?

What is it that you would impart to me?

If it be aught toward the general good,

Set honor in one eye and death i' th' other,

And I will look on both indifferently,

For let the gods so speed me as I love

The name of honor more than I fear death.

**Wrinkly:** I know that virtue to be in you, Diddy,

As well as I do know your outward favor.

Well, honor is the subject of my story.

I cannot tell what you and other men

Think of this life, but, for my single self,

I had as lief not be as live to be

In awe of such a thing as I myself.

I was born free as DK. So were you.

We both have fed as well, and we can both

Endure the winter's cold as well as he.

For once upon a raw and gusty day,

The troubled Tiber chafing with her shores,

DK said to me, "Darest thou, Wrinkly, now

Leap in with me into this angry flood

And swim to yonder point?" Upon the word,

Accoutred as I was, I plungèd in

And bade him follow. So indeed he did.

The torrent roared, and we did buffet it

With lusty sinews, throwing it aside

And stemming it with hearts of controversy.

But ere we could arrive the point proposed,

DK cried, "Help me, Wrinkly, or I sink!"

I, as Aeneas, our great ancestor,

Did from the flames of Troy upon his shoulder

The old Anchises bear, so from the waves of Tiber

Did I the tired DK. And this man

Is now become a god, and Wrinkly is

A wretched creature and must bend her body

If DK carelessly but nod on her.

He had a fever when he was in Spain,

And when the fit was on him, I did mark

How he did shake. 'Tis true, this god did shake!

His coward lips did from their color fly,

And that same eye whose bend doth awe the world

Did lose his luster. I did hear him groan,

Ay, and that tongue of his that bade the Romans

Mark him and write his speeches in their books—

"Alas," it cried, "give me some drink, Cranky,"

As a sick girl. Ye gods, it doth amaze me

A man of such a feeble temper should

So get the start of the majestic world

And bear the palm alone.

_Another shout._

**Diddy:** Another general shout!

I do believe that these applauses are

For some new honors that are heaped on DK.

**Wrinkly:** Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world

Like a Colossus, and we petty men

Walk under his huge legs and peep about

To find ourselves dishonorable graves.

Men at some time are masters of their fates.

The fault, dear Diddy, is not in our stars

But in ourselves, that we are underlings.

Diddy and DK—what should be in that "DK"?

Why should that name be sounded more than yours?

Write them together, yours is as fair a name.

Sound them, it doth become the mouth as well.

Weigh them, it is as heavy. Conjure with 'em,

"Diddy" will start a spirit as soon as "DK."

Now in the names of all the gods at once,

Upon what meat doth this our DK feed

That he is grown so great? Age, thou art shamed!

Rome, thou hast lost the breed of noble bloods!

When went there by an age, since the great flood,

But it was famed with more than with one man?

When could they say till now, that talked of Rome,

That her wide walks encompassed but one man?

Now is it Rome indeed, and room enough,

When there is in it but one only man.

Oh, you and I have heard our fathers say,

There was a Prosculus once that would have brooked

Th' eternal devil to keep his state in Rome

As easily as a king.

**Diddy:** That you do love me, I am nothing jealous.

What you would work me to, I have some aim.

How I have thought of this and of these times

I shall recount hereafter. For this present,

I would not, so with love I might entreat you,

Be any further moved. What you have said

I will consider, what you have to say

I will with patience hear, and find a time

Both meet to hear and answer such high things.

Till then, my noble friend, chew upon this:

Diddy had rather be a villager

Than to repute himself a son of Rome

Under these hard conditions as this time

Is like to lay upon us.

**Wrinkly:** I am glad that my weak words

Have struck but thus much show of fire from Brutus.

_DK enters with his gang, Lanky among them._

**Diddy:** The games are done and DK is returning.

**Wrinkly:** As they pass by, pluck Lanky by the sleeve,

And he will, after his sour fashion, tell you

What hath proceeded worthy note today.

**Diddy: **I will do so. But, look you, Wrinkly,

The angry spot doth glow on DK's brow,

And all the rest look like a chidden train.

Candy's cheek is pale, and Gnaeus

Looks with such ferret and such fiery eyes

As we have seen him in the Capitol

Being crossed in conference by some senators.

**Wrinkly:** Lanky will tell us what the matter is.

_Diddy takes Lanky by the arm and drags him away as DK and Funky converse._

**DK:** Funky.

**Funky:** DK.

**DK: **Let me have men about me that are fat,

Sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights.

Yond Wrinkly has a lean and hungry look.

She thinks too much. Such men are dangerous.

**Funky:** Fear her not, DK. She's not dangerous.

She is a noble Roman and well given.

**DK:** Would she were fatter! But I fear her not.

Yet if my name were liable to fear,

I do not know the man I should avoid

So soon as that spare Wrinkly. She reads much.

She is a great observer, and she looks

Quite through the deeds of men. She loves no plays,

As thou dost, Funky. She hears no music.

Seldom she smiles, and smiles in such a sort

As if she mocked herself and scorned her spirit

That could be moved to smile at anything.

Such men as she be never at heart's ease

Whiles they behold a greater than themselves,

And therefore are they very dangerous.

I rather tell thee what is to be feared

Than what I fear, for always I am DK.

Come on my right hand, for this ear is deaf,

And tell me truly what thou think'st of her.

_Trumpets. Exit all but Lanky, Wrinkly, and Diddy._

**Lanky:** You pulled me by the cloak. Would you speak with me?

**Diddy:** Ay, Lanky. Tell us what hath chanced today

That DK looks so sad

**Lanky:** Why, you were with him, were you not?

**Diddy:** I should not then ask Lanky what had chanced.

**Lanky:** Why, there was a crown offered him; and, being offered him, he put it by with the back of his hand, thus; and then the people fell a-shouting.

**Diddy:** What was the second noise for?

**Lanky: **Why, for that too.

**Wrinkly:** They shouted thrice. What was the last cry for?

**Lanky:** Why, for that too.

**Diddy:** Was the crown offered him thrice?

**Lanky:** Ay, marry, was 't, and he put it by thrice, every time gentler than other, and at every putting-by mine honest neighbors shouted.

**Wrinkly:** Who offered him the crown?

**Lanky:** Why, Funky.

**Diddy:** Tell us the manner of it, gentle Lanky.

**Lanky:** I can as well be hanged as tell the manner of it. It was mere foolery. I did not mark it. I saw Funky offer him a crown (yet 'twas not a crown neither, 'twas one of these coronets) and, as I told you, he put it by once—but, for all that, to my thinking, he would fain have had it. Then he offered it to him again, then he put it by again—but, to my thinking, he was very loath to lay his fingers off it. And then he offered it the third time. He put it the third time by. And still, as he refused it, the rabblement hooted and clapped their chapped hands and threw up their sweaty night-caps and uttered such a deal of stinking breath because DK refused the crown that it had almost choked DK—for he swooned and fell down at it. And for mine own part, I durst not laugh for fear of opening my lips and receiving the bad air.

**Wrinkly:** But soft, I pray you. What, did DK swoon?

**Lanky:** He fell down in the marketplace, and foamed at mouth, and was speechless.

**Diddy: **'Tis very like. He hath the falling sickness.

**Wrinkly: **No, DK hath it not. But you and I

And honest Lanky, we have the falling sickness.

**Lanky:** I know not what you mean by that, but I am sure DK fell down. If the tag-rag people did not clap him and hiss him according as he pleased and displeased them, as they use to do the players in the theatre, I am no true man.

**Diddy: **What said he when he came unto himself?

**Lanky:** Marry, before he fell down, when he perceived the common herd was glad he refused the crown, he plucked me ope his doublet and offered them his throat to cut. An I had been a man of any occupation, if I would not have taken him at a word, I would I might go to hell among the rogues. And so he fell. When he came to himself again, he said, if he had done or said anything amiss, he desired their worships to think it was his infirmity. Three or four wenches where I stood cried, "Alas, good soul!" and forgave him with all their hearts. But there's no heed to be taken of them. If DK had stabbed their mothers they would have done no less.

**Diddy: **And after that he came thus sad away?

**Lanky:** Ay.

**Wrinkly:** Did Gnaeus say anything?

**Lanky:** Ay, he spoke Greek.

**Wrinkly:** To what effect?

**Lanky: **Nay, an I tell you that, I'll ne'er look you i' th' face again. But those that understood him smiled at one another and shook their heads. But, for mine own part, it was Greek to me. I could tell you more news too. Pat and Agrippa, for pulling scarfs off DK's images, are put to silence. Fare you well. There was more foolery yet, if I could remember it.

**Wrinkly:** Will you supp with me tonight, Lanky?

**Lanky: **No, I am promised forth.

**Wrinkly:** Will you dine with me tomorrow?

**Lanky: **Ay, if I be alive and your mind hold and your dinner worth the eating.

**Wrinkly:** Good. I will expect you.

**Lanky: **Do so. Farewell both.

_Lanky exits._

**Diddy:** What a blunt fellow is this grown to be!

He was quick mettle when he went to school.

**Wrinkly:** So is he now in execution

Of any bold or noble enterprise,

However he puts on this tardy form.

This rudeness is a sauce to his good wit,

Which gives men stomach to digest his words

With better appetite.

**Diddy:** And so it is. For this time I will leave you.

Tomorrow, if you please to speak with me,

I will come home to you. Or, if you will,

Come home to me, and I will wait for you.

**Wrinkly:** I will do so. Till then, think of the world.

_Diddy exits._

**Wrinkly:** Well, Diddy, thou art noble. Yet I see

Thy honorable mettle may be wrought

From that it is disposed. Therefore it is meet

That noble minds keep ever with their likes,

For who so firm that cannot be seduced?

DK doth bear me hard, but he loves Diddy.

If I were Diddy now and he were Wrinkly

He should not humor me. I will this night,

In several hands, in at his windows throw,

As if they came from several citizens,

Writings all tending to the great opinion

That Rome holds of his name, wherein obscurely

DK's ambition shall be glancèd at.

And after this let DK seat him sure,

For we will shake him, or worse days endure.

_She exits._


	3. Act I, Scene III

Disclaimer: I only wish I own the DKC characters and the Shakespeare play. Also, I forgot a few characters who appear/are referenced here.

Caesar-DK

Calphurnia-Candy

Brutus-Diddy

Portia-Dixie

Antony-Funky

Cassius-Wrinkly

Casca-Lanky

Decius-Chunky

Cicero-Gnaeus (ironically a JC character of mine)

Cinna-Red Kremling (referred to in name as Toma)

Metellus-KAOS

Trebonius-Cthulu (random character...)

Flavius-Agrippa

Marellus-Pat

XxXxXxXxX

Act I, Scene III

XxXxXxXxX

_Thunder and lightning. Lanky and Gnaeus enter._

**Gnaeus:** Good even, Lanky. Brought you DK home?

Why are you breathless? And why stare you so?

**Lanky: **Are not you moved when all the sway of earth

Shakes like a thing unfirm? O Gnaeus,

I have seen tempests when the scolding winds

Have rived the knotty oaks, and I have seen

Th' ambitious ocean swell and rage and foam

To be exalted with the threatening clouds,

But never till tonight, never till now,

Did I go through a tempest dropping fire.

Either there is a civil strife in heaven,

Or else the world, too saucy with the gods,

Incenses them to send destruction.

**Gnaeus: **Why, saw you anything more wonderful?

**Lanky: **A common slave—you know him well by sight—

Held up his left hand, which did flame and burn

Like twenty torches joined, and yet his hand,

Not sensible of fire, remained unscorched.

Besides—I ha' not since put up my sword—

Against the Capitol I met a lion,

Who glared upon me and went surly by,

Without annoying me. And there were drawn

Upon a heap a hundred ghastly women,

Transformèd with their fear, who swore they saw

Men all in fire walk up and down the streets.

And yesterday the bird of night did sit

Even at noon-day upon the marketplace,

Hooting and shrieking. When these prodigies

Do so conjointly meet, let not men say,

"These are their reasons. They are natural."

For I believe they are portentous things

Unto the climate that they point upon.

**Gnaeus:** Indeed, it is a strange-disposèd time.

But men may construe things after their fashion,

Clean from the purpose of the things themselves.

Comes DK to the Capitol tomorrow?

**Lanky: **He doth, for he did bid Funky

Send word to you he would be there tomorrow.

**Gnaeus: **Good night then, Lanky. This disturbèd sky

Is not to walk in.

**Lanky: **Farewell, Gnaeus.

_Gnaeus exits and Wrinkly enters._

**Wrinkly: **Who's there?

**Lanky: **A Roman.

**Wrinkly: **Lanky by your voice.

**Lanky: **Your ear is good. Wrinkly, what a night this is!

**Wrinkly: **A very pleasing night to honest men.

**Lanky: **Who ever knew the heavens menace so?

**Wrinkly:** Those that have known the earth so full of faults.

For my part, I have walked about the streets,

Submitting me unto the perilous night,

And, thus unbracèd, Lanky, as you see,

Have bared my bosom to the thunder-stone.

And when the cross blue lightning seemed to open

The breast of heaven, I did present myself

Even in the aim and very flash of it.

**Lanky: **But wherefore did you so much tempt the heavens?

It is the part of men to fear and tremble

When the most mighty gods by tokens send

Such dreadful heralds to astonish us.

**Wrinkly:** You are dull, Lanky, and those sparks of life

That should be in a Roman you do want,

Or else you use not. You look pale, and gaze,

And put on fear, and cast yourself in wonder

To see the strange impatience of the heavens.

But if you would consider the true cause

Why all these fires, why all these gliding ghosts,

Why birds and beasts from quality and kind,

Why old men fool and children calculate,

Why all these things change from their ordinance

Their natures and preformèd faculties

To monstrous quality—why, you shall find

That heaven hath infused them with these spirits

To make them instruments of fear and warning

Unto some monstrous state.

Now could I, Lanky, name to thee a man

Most like this dreadful night,

That thunders, lightens, opens graves, and roars

As doth the lion in the Capitol—

A man no mightier than thyself or me

In personal action, yet prodigious grown,

And fearful as these strange eruptions are.

**Lanky: **'Tis DK that you mean. Is it not, Wrinkly?

**Wrinkly: **Let it be who it is. For Romans now

Have thews and limbs like to their ancestors,

But—woe the while!—our fathers' minds are dead,

And we are governed with our mothers' spirits.

Our yoke and sufferance show us womanish.

**Lanky: **Indeed, they say the senators tomorrow

Mean to establish DK as a king,

And he shall wear his crown by sea and land

In every place save here in Italy.

**Wrinkly: **I know where I will wear this dagger then.

Caia from bondage will deliver Caia.

Therein, ye gods, you make the weak most strong.

Therein, ye gods, you tyrants do defeat.

Nor stony tower, nor walls of beaten brass,

Nor airless dungeon, nor strong links of iron

Can be retentive to the strength of spirit.

But life, being weary of these worldly bars,

Never lacks power to dismiss itself.

If I know this, know all the world besides,

That part of tyranny that I do bear

I can shake off at pleasure.

_It's still thundering._

**Lanky: **So every bondman in his own hand bears

The power to cancel his captivity.

**Wrinkly: **And why should DK be a tyrant then?

Poor man! I know he would not be a wolf

But that he sees the Romans are but sheep.

He were no lion were not Romans hinds.

Those that with haste will make a mighty fire

Begin it with weak straws. What trash is Rome,

What rubbish and what offal, when it serves

For the base matter to illuminate

So vile a thing as DK! But, O grief,

Where hast thou led me? I perhaps speak this

Before a willing bondman. Then I know

My answer must be made. But I am armed,

And dangers are to me indifferent.

**Lanky:** You speak to Lanky, and to such a man

That is no fleering telltale. Hold, my hand.

Be factious for redress of all these griefs,

And I will set this foot of mine as far

As who goes farthest.

**Wrinkly: **There's a bargain made.

Now know you, Lanky, I have moved already

Some certain of the noblest-minded Romans

To undergo with me an enterprise

Of honorable-dangerous consequence.

And I do know by this they stay for me

In Pompey's porch. For now, this fearful night,

There is no stir or walking in the streets,

And the complexion of the element

In favor's like the work we have in hand,

Most bloody, fiery, and most terrible.

_A Red Kremling enters._

**Lanky: **Stand close awhile, for here comes one in haste.

**Wrinkly: **'Tis Toma. I do know him by his gait.

He is a friend.—Toma where haste you so?

**Red Kremling:** To find out you. Who's that? KAOS?

**Wrinkly: **No, it is Lanky, one incorporate

To our attempts. Am I not stayed for, Toma?

**RK: **I am glad on 't. What a fearful night is this!

There's two or three of us have seen strange sights.

**Wrinkly: **Am I not stayed for? Tell me.

**RK: **Yes, you are.

O Wrinkly, if you could

But win the noble Diddy to our party—

**Wrinkly: **Be you content. Good Toma, take this paper,

And look you lay it in the praetor's chair

Where Diddy may but find it. And throw this

In at his window. Set this up with wax

Upon old Prosculus' statue. All this done,

Repair to Pompey's porch, where you shall find us.

Is Chunky and Cthulu there?

**RK: **All but KAOS, and he's gone

To seek you at your house. Well, I will hie,

And so bestow these papers as you bade me.

**Wrinkly: **That done, repair to Pompey's theatre.

_Red Kremling exits._

**Wrinkly: **Come, Lanky, you and I will yet ere day

See Diddy at his house. Three parts of him

Is ours already, and the man entire

Upon the next encounter yields him ours.

**Lanky: **Oh, he sits high in all the people's hearts,

And that which would appear offense in us,

His countenance, like richest alchemy,

Will change to virtue and to worthiness.

**Wrinkly: **Him and his worth and our great need of him

You have right well conceited. Let us go,

For it is after midnight, and ere day

We will awake him and be sure of him.

_They exit._


End file.
